My love.

Sweet Serendipity.
Where are thou?
With warm tears of pleasure and agony, I chase day and night for you, my love.
I ache for your never ending touches upon my flesh and to look into your sparkly eyes.
I lust after your delicious fruit of nourishment.
Dear, don't leave me. Please.
Your paradise is neatly tucked inside of the Moira of my tightly-woven destiny.
Upon the shatters of the despicable troubles in my life, I am still intoxicated by your seizing aura.
I beg you to come to me. Please do not hide.
Alone my dreams, I follow your whispers down the primrose path to your secret garden.
Motionless, there I wait for you.
Forevermore.

Thank You.

Please pray for me.
Im so emotional right now.
Eyes full of tears.
Mind full of praise.
Thank you Jesus!
Earlier today, doctors called my boyfriend to inform him of his current condition of his diagnosis.
"They told me that I am stable. No signs of cancer...," he calmly says to me.
My heart drops.
I almost fell to my knees.
No Cancer. AGAIN.
God is so so so so good. Not only is God so good for helping my boyfriend's brain to heal, but for restoring his life. Mind. Body. And soul.
We ALL don't always wake up with our right minds, but God is ALWAYS at our side and He helps us stand to do better through each day, if we choose to. Know better. Do better. REGARDLESS of what Satan whispers, or how many times our lives darkled against the silhouettes of his tricks and evil plans.....

And my charming boyfriend, Reginald, has yet to let go of God's hands and I know that he never will. And I will never let go of Reggie's hands. Never.
I just don't know what to say....
We shall never know why God is so good to us.
Until then, I will continue to thank Him.
Thank you, Heavenly Father.
Thank you for your blood, Jesus.
Thank you God, King of Glory.


Thank you for listening.
Thank you for healing.
Thank you.

"God is so powerful, folks. Don't play with Him nor doubt Him." ~ Tammy J

Blessed.

"So make a list-right now-of all that you are thankful for."
Huh?
Our problems are so intoxicating...We feed off their unyielding, dangerously sweet scent. Allowing us to forget how blessed we truly are. While soaking in the bubble bath, I was reading my new favorite book, "When Prayers Aren't Answered." Author John E. Welshons teases with instructions of creating a list of blessings, diving deeply within. Closing my eyes, I slowly wander in the depths of my brain, counting my blessings, one by one.
So here it goes:
I am blessed to be alive.
I am blessed to be conscious.
I am blessed to breathe on my own. Without the help of a machine.
I am blessed to live in a warm house.
I am blessed to conquer depression.
I am blessed to have a degree.
I am blessed to have a job. Forever grateful.
I am blessed to have a mother AND a father who are STILL married.
I am blessed to have a brother who is now in college.
I am blessed to have wonderful, fearless friends.
I am blessed to have a handsome, caring boyfriend. He is fighting cancer. And winning.
I am blessed to be beautiful. I am not perfect, but beautiful.
I am blessed to be born with a gift of writing.
I am blessed to have a relationship with God.
I am blessed to have my heart broken. Constantly. But temporarily. And not permanently.
I am blessed to not be where I used to be, still heading to where I want to be.
I am blessed to be knocked down numerously. Yet, stand right back up. Again and again.
I am blessed to let go. And let God.
I am blessed to witness the anointing ceremonious uniting of lovers and the birth of fresh, blossoming lives within the last 5 months.
I am blessed to have a car. A running car. A car in which I can afford to put gas in to run.
I am blessed to have haters.
I am blessed to have many more supporters.
I am blessed to have met so many wonderful writers and artists throughout this country.
I am blessed to know my passion. And not be ashamed. To me, life is not about how you are living; life is about what you did while living.
I am blessed to be writing my book, Snow Angels.
I am blessed for you reading this right now. :)
I am blessed to finally love myself.
I am blessed to finally accept God fully in my life.
I am blessed to have so many blessings in my life. And I am still counting.
I can't deny it. I am blessed. Very.
And so are you.
I encourage you to create a list. Whether it is written down, or an intimate mental list, think of your blessings. The plentiness of God's goodies will remind you that you are highly favored; He loves us. Most of all, your blessings, just like mine, will remind you that God is in control. No matter what happens.
Be humble.
Be thankful.
Be blessed.

"...one of the most potent antidotes to frozen emotion is gratitude; just feeling thankful." ~ John E. Welshons

witness .

Last night, I witnessed a murder.
The unlawful killing of an innocent man. Troy Davis. A man who was falsely accused of savagely killing an off-duty police officer in the late 1980s; Davis was executed.
The blood of this man splatters all over the hands of America.
However, the spirit of Davis prevails.
Reading Davis' final letter, I was titillated by the amusing words written by this man who had everlasting faith. Unceasing. Uninterrupted. Undying. In the midst of being tortured, ridiculed, talked about, dogged, hated, this man stood fearlessly through the last 20-something years of his life. Sadly, Davis was murdered by a country that stands falseheartedly behind the jingle of "Innocent until proven guilty."... Did I write that correctly? I could have sworn it was the other way around... Because last night.... Never mind.
I admit it. I am NOT an activist. However, I am a human being who is heartbroken once again by the country in which I live in. The story of Davis should teach us a lesson. Not just on the unjust judicial system in which our country is rooted and that a change is needed to annihilate the Death Penalty. But there is a tiny lesson embedded on that stupendous word: Faith.
Ever felt betrayed? Disappointed? We all do. We all felt imprisoned by our job(s), friends, our families and even by our own selves at some points of our lives. We are our worst enemy, of course. Once we let go our fear, the pressure eases and the shackles of our cowardism, self-pity and lack of faith are unlocked.
In the Bible, it says "For God is my record, how greatly I long after you all in the bowels of Jesus Christ,." ~ Philippians 1:8. In other words, God is my witness. God is your witness. God is Davis' witness. Sometimes we forget that we are not alone. And sometimes we forget we are not here to impress Man, but God. Whether we are distraught in an abusive household, struggling to get our college degree or picking at our last meal on Death Row, we must keep our minds on the Cross. And I strongly believe that Davis held on tight until his very last breath. Keep pressing forward in knowing that God is in control. No matter what Man judge, God has thee FINAL say.
Always keep the faith.
Remember, Jesus died. But He rose.
We all can rise simply by having faith. With faith, this country will heal. So, let's not walk around hating America for what it did. Let's smile and run with the wind because we know that a change is coming. I have faith that it is, America. No ifs ands or buts. For God is my witness.
God bless Troy Davis. May his soul rest in peace.

J'aime Détroit

*Photograph of the Week*

.... oh je t' aime!

Ballerina Girl

In my ballet shoes, I was a princess. Inside the studio, the dance floor was my kingdom. The mirror was my love. The music was partner.

It's boggles my mind how so many little girls aren't living in this fanciful fairy tale anymore. It is terrifying to know that our little girls are raped out of their innocence. Stricken with fear. They no longer try to be little princesses. Instead, they want to be in music videos. The hot girl. Or even worse: They just don't have any goals in life. Understandingly, our little girls are lost.

Outside the dance room, I remember prancing in front of my mother's life-sized mirror, putting on her pearls, pretending to be a lady. Inside the dance room, I felt safe and happy. Free to be the princess I dreamed to be. Little girls nowadays are wearing jeans tighter than mine, swaying their non-existent hips to today's churlish beats on the radio. They dare not to be princesses. They want to be in the next music video.

Where are our ballerina girls?

How could we allow such a thing to happen? As a little girl, my mind was quiet, full of peace. And my heart was open, full of passion. As a ballerina, I was taught to embrace my body and appreciate its delicacy.

Ballet trained me to be the woman who I am today, Strong. Obedient. Persistent. Ambitious. Beautiful. In the dance mirror, I saw the power of my presence. My self-esteem was glowing and growing. Looking at our little girls today, their self-esteem hang upon the words of lying beasts. Our broken soldiers. Footling to our soon-to-be nubile ladies. Making them feel like losel slum.

Ballet didn't save my childhood. It just gave me something to look forward to as I grew up. It was enchanting. It taught me that there was something bigger out in the world and I had the capability of capturing it. The morphology of ballet essentially opened my eyes to catch the impossible.

We need to find our little girls, guide them back to their kingdom of innocence and help them believe that they too can capture their dreams. No matter how big they are. Most importantly, hold their hands and mold our little princesses into the Queens that they are destined to be.

Where is that grasshopper?

I admit it.

I am struggling with a cold case of "grasshopper mentality."

Side effects: Prosaic. Weak. Loss of faith. Frail. Easily broken. Loss of high expectations. Feeling ordinary.

Pastor Joel Osteen says, "If you are always thinking about your defeat, failure, how weak you are, or how impossible your circumstances are, you will develop a 'grasshopper mentality'."

When you think of a grasshopper, what do you think of? A tiny green creature that is ready to be squished. A weak critter that roams the face of the earth. Helpless pest.

In my virgin years of writing and blogging, I was the grasshopper. Small. And just there. Even now, I sometimes to sulk, only finding myself going to bed, not feeling motivated. But as I continue to rediscover God in my soul searching, I am realizing that I need to stop focusing on my weaknesses and focus on Him. It is true: Embracing the walks of life with the "grasshopper mentality" belittles God. With that in mind, I am constantly reprogramming my mind on how big God is and what he has in store for me and my writing.

My writing is bigger than who I am. Your goals in your life are bigger than you are. By believing in yourself, you stray away from that so-called "grasshopper mentality." This is one of the very reasons why I am writing my first book. I absolutely love writing. I cherish life with words and I want to coddle my readers with my words. I am writing this book to prove to no one but God that I can do anything because He has placed the ability inside of me to do so. I know that I am not a cosmic accident who is just roaming around the world, hopping through life like a tiny grasshopper with broken dreams. I am an image of God and I am determine to continue to grow in His light and go after my dream of becoming an author. Reaching my full potential.

Breaking off the shackles of this mundane mentality means that I must truly believe what the Bible says about me.

No matter how big it is, a grasshopper is still a grasshopper. Unlike that grasshopper. I am a child of God and determined to reach my goals and be successful. God is just that big. And so are my dreams. And so will my accomplishments.