Envy is poison.
She bathes in sin.
Hate flows out her mouth, gently over her lips and teeth.
Each spit of deceit from her twisted tongue and jealous lips crushes her spirit.
Black little girls' self-esteems bleed death. And that's only the beginning, so we believe.
What constitutes this? SELF-HATRED.
We let each other sink. And because of this, more black women are crying. and dying. and still killing.
Why do we cane each other with whippings of brutality? And not healing?
Because we kill each other's spirit.
We depend on men to nurse us back to health, suckling on their lies as we lay on their chests, giving our children's blood as we engage in unhealthy and even unwanted sexual relations.
Jealously is unyielding as the graveyard.
Love is strong as death. But Jealousy potion is sweeter. And we are all dying to get a sip.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Angels Breath...
My boyfriend is fighting brain cancer.
Devastating, right?
Not really.
His cancer integrated into my body and spread into my heart.
Cancer kills. But it gives New appreciation for life.
Tiny angels have rescued his soul.
We both grieve in our unfailing love. We rejoice because each sunrise is the gateway to a new day to gain an excellent standing and great assurance in our faith.
The discovery of his rare brain disease has taken a toll on him physically. But not his mind.
We can't control every thought. But we can fully be certain to think about what are thinking about.
His brain tissue may not be hearty, but his mind is.
"You're blessed when you get your inside world-your mind and heart-put right. Then you can see God in the outside world." ~Matthews 5:8
Cancer is scary. But life isn't.
Be reverent.
"And keep living."
At least, that is what Reggie says.
So, it must be true.
Devastating, right?
Not really.
His cancer integrated into my body and spread into my heart.
Cancer kills. But it gives New appreciation for life.
Tiny angels have rescued his soul.
We both grieve in our unfailing love. We rejoice because each sunrise is the gateway to a new day to gain an excellent standing and great assurance in our faith.
The discovery of his rare brain disease has taken a toll on him physically. But not his mind.
We can't control every thought. But we can fully be certain to think about what are thinking about.
His brain tissue may not be hearty, but his mind is.
"You're blessed when you get your inside world-your mind and heart-put right. Then you can see God in the outside world." ~Matthews 5:8
Cancer is scary. But life isn't.
Be reverent.
"And keep living."
At least, that is what Reggie says.
So, it must be true.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
New ME
Good Evening.
My name is Tammy.
A lot of you think that you may know me. But you don't.
Hell, I just met myself a few months ago.
A lot of people ran out of my life. Others are still walking towards the door. It's still open.
Some people may think that I have changed.
Guess what.
I did.
Sincerely,
Tammy J.
P.S. God ain't thru with me yet.
My name is Tammy.
A lot of you think that you may know me. But you don't.
Hell, I just met myself a few months ago.
A lot of people ran out of my life. Others are still walking towards the door. It's still open.
Some people may think that I have changed.
Guess what.
I did.
Sincerely,
Tammy J.
P.S. God ain't thru with me yet.
Stop
For some people, they wake up and wander around, pleasing themselves.
I, on the other hand, I wake up, in high hopes of pleasing God.
Over the last few weeks, I have been trying to get closer to God. I know that it's not like he is gently pushing me away every time I get closer to Him; it just feels as though I have yet to touch Him.
The thing we call Life is a bitch. I realized that this morning when I was getting dressed for work. This world of ours is a fucked up world. And it is not the food or oxygen that carries us through our 14 hour days.
It is God's grace.
Lord, have mercy on us. Please.
There have been times I wished that I did not have to get out the bed. I would be scared to face the world. The unseen dangers. The disguised hatred.
But reciting a few Bible scriptures is what gets my adrenaline going.
After playing hide and seek with my pillows, I wake up, asking myself, what the fuck am I doing? Why am I not successful.
But that's the thing. I am.
I am just too damn blind and dumb to realize it. I am so blessed that it hurts to start counting. By the time I get to blessing number 4, I feel like a coward and ask the Lord for forgiveness instantly.
We get so caught up in worrying about our lives. We forget that it is NOT our duty to worry. We are all assigned one duty from God and that is to JUST LIVE.
Like the Bible says, each day has its own troubles, so only live for today, for tomorrow is too not promised.
I, on the other hand, I wake up, in high hopes of pleasing God.
Over the last few weeks, I have been trying to get closer to God. I know that it's not like he is gently pushing me away every time I get closer to Him; it just feels as though I have yet to touch Him.
The thing we call Life is a bitch. I realized that this morning when I was getting dressed for work. This world of ours is a fucked up world. And it is not the food or oxygen that carries us through our 14 hour days.
It is God's grace.
Lord, have mercy on us. Please.
There have been times I wished that I did not have to get out the bed. I would be scared to face the world. The unseen dangers. The disguised hatred.
But reciting a few Bible scriptures is what gets my adrenaline going.
After playing hide and seek with my pillows, I wake up, asking myself, what the fuck am I doing? Why am I not successful.
But that's the thing. I am.
I am just too damn blind and dumb to realize it. I am so blessed that it hurts to start counting. By the time I get to blessing number 4, I feel like a coward and ask the Lord for forgiveness instantly.
We get so caught up in worrying about our lives. We forget that it is NOT our duty to worry. We are all assigned one duty from God and that is to JUST LIVE.
Like the Bible says, each day has its own troubles, so only live for today, for tomorrow is too not promised.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
A Love Story
I will never forget the day I first saw him. He walked through the doors at Malcolm X Elementary School, downtown.
Light-skinned brotha.
I glanced and then quickly turned my eyes away. I could never have something so delicious.
He saw me. And smiled.
Heart starts pumping. I smiled back.
But of course, as a dummy, I turned away and looked right at my phone, texting the green-eyed monster.
hahaha. ok.ok. Ill stop. It was my now-ex boyfriend. He is not a monster. He is simply the guy who threw my heart out onto the street, stomped all over it, while spitting globs of deceit on it. hahaha. just kidding.
Looking back, he gave me nothing. And he took it when he left.
Who knew right then that this light-skinned brotha would be the Prince who sweeps me off my feet and plants me as his precious black rose in his secret garden, his heart.
And his name. Reggie.
...his love travels so deep inside me, I do not want to return from our journey. oh je t' aime.
Light-skinned brotha.
I glanced and then quickly turned my eyes away. I could never have something so delicious.
He saw me. And smiled.
Heart starts pumping. I smiled back.
But of course, as a dummy, I turned away and looked right at my phone, texting the green-eyed monster.
hahaha. ok.ok. Ill stop. It was my now-ex boyfriend. He is not a monster. He is simply the guy who threw my heart out onto the street, stomped all over it, while spitting globs of deceit on it. hahaha. just kidding.
Looking back, he gave me nothing. And he took it when he left.
Who knew right then that this light-skinned brotha would be the Prince who sweeps me off my feet and plants me as his precious black rose in his secret garden, his heart.
And his name. Reggie.
...his love travels so deep inside me, I do not want to return from our journey. oh je t' aime.
lazy ass.
I never know what to write about. I just randomly type what comes to mind. And tonight, I have a lot of thoughts racing all over my swollen brain.
A lot has happened in my life and I am very thankful for it all. This statement sums it all:I have no complaints.
My life is going pretty well; I am able to pay off my students loans. Great accomplishment, huh?
But I realized one thing about myself, I am very lazy.
I could be one of the greatest people in the whole wide world, but I am just so damn lazy. Is it in my blood? Or is it just a one-man's disease?
I think one of the reasons why I am so damn lazy is because I am living in fear. I need to stop that. God has blessed me with so much talent. And I need to use it.
I need to stop putting it to waste. Just like you all.
You know, sometimes I feel like we are ALL lazy. Not using our God-given talents. Damn shame.
Imagine if God was too lazy to express His divine, Holy, graceful love and mercy unto us.
Worse: What if God was too lazy to bless us?
ha. if only we knew.
But we can only be lazy because we don't know the truth.
...if only we knew.
A lot has happened in my life and I am very thankful for it all. This statement sums it all:I have no complaints.
My life is going pretty well; I am able to pay off my students loans. Great accomplishment, huh?
But I realized one thing about myself, I am very lazy.
I could be one of the greatest people in the whole wide world, but I am just so damn lazy. Is it in my blood? Or is it just a one-man's disease?
I think one of the reasons why I am so damn lazy is because I am living in fear. I need to stop that. God has blessed me with so much talent. And I need to use it.
I need to stop putting it to waste. Just like you all.
You know, sometimes I feel like we are ALL lazy. Not using our God-given talents. Damn shame.
Imagine if God was too lazy to express His divine, Holy, graceful love and mercy unto us.
Worse: What if God was too lazy to bless us?
ha. if only we knew.
But we can only be lazy because we don't know the truth.
...if only we knew.
broken hearted
If you knew better, you would do better.
Right?
Right?
If that was the case, then why does life seems so... meaningless?
Why do men trash their beloved trophy wives?
Why do mothers rape the souls of their unborn offspring?
Why do women rot with self-hatred?
Why do little boys and little girls ignore their God?
These are questions that pump through my frazzled brain.
It's like eating nails when scrutinizing a possible cure for this worldly disease.
The world is a scary place.
Spit of hate sprawls everywhere.
Our children are dying, transforming into superficial creatures beyond their own will; not enduring their soft, warm red blood that dances through their tiny veins.
The same blood that races down the ragged cross as Jesus bled to death.
King Jesus died for us, so we will do better.
...If only we knew better.
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