Natural Roots. Straight Ends: In Search for My Curlfriends

As Labor Day sneaks upon us and our precious kiddies merrily return back to school, I will be officially entering my sixth month post-relaxer anniversary. That’s right. My hair hasn’t been chemically altered for the last 6 months. How am I feeling? Scared? Excited? More like, OBSESSED. I told you folks, I am so serious in continuing my long-term transition to le natural hair.

March 2013 was the last time I had a perm. Since then, family and friends are relentlessly asking me why I decided to go natural. Because I’m worn-out with relaxed hair. For years, I would lust after sparkly straight, long hair. To me, relaxed hair was beautiful, sexy hair. The moment I felt a kink or saw a millimeter of new growth, I felt insecure, uncomfortable, and would immediately make a hair appointment with disgust, especially during my high school years. I had a perm since I was 10 years old. Sixteen years later, I can’t say if I recall my natural curl. I don’t even think my mother remembers.

They say that by the fourth or fifth month, some women tend to itch for the creamy crack while others give in to the BC a.k.a.  The Big Chop. Since college, I cut my hair off 3 times, so I am really trying my hardest to avoid the BC. Plus, I desire the fun with the different styles like the Bantu knots and Braid-outs. I have done a lot of research and so many women have thrived with their luscious curls in their transition.

One thing for sure, I am not transitioning alone. My husband is a huge supporter of me going natural. Many of my girlfriends are natural and I am in love with their glossy, juicy curls. Their hair is so soft and fluffy. So much volume. So much character. So much flare. So much flavor!!!

Currently, I am wearing a protective style- the lovely sew-in. (My favorite is the faux bun!) I figured that I could allow my hair to relax with a weave. Plus, my new growth and straggly ends were starting a fist fight,so I decided it's definitely time to get a sew-in. Within the next few months, I plan to get twists and continue to let my tresses grow. By next summer, I plan to chop the rest of the perm off. But for now, I am going to continue to rock protective styles, get my ends clipped and continue with deep conditioning treatments. I understand that by religiously trimming the processed ends away, I am allowing my hair to grow healthier and avoiding redundant damage.

Throughout my invigorating journey in finding my Curlfriends, I am studying different oils, moisturizers, conditioners and shampoos and adopting a plethora of methods in adding more hydration and life to my surviving locks. I am disciplining myself harder in going easy on the heat and remember to take my time detangling my hair. More importantly, I am learning: I AM NOT MY HAIR.

My main goal is to have beautiful, healthy hair. Ever since I stopped getting perms, my hair has been growing like wild fire. And I absolutely love it. I am so mesmerized by my new hair growth and its texture. As far as my hair type, I have no idea. I just know that this raggedy permed hair ain’t me. A few weeks ago, before I got the sew-in installed, my stylist pressed out my hair and it was stronger, longer and way thicker. Talk about motivation!

So until then, I plan to enjoy my hair while transitioning! I’ll keep ya updated, darlings.

Marriage: An itsy bitty fancy word for Teamwork!

“Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly
understood that they are on the same side.” ~ Zig Ziglar

As a newlywed, I am learning a great deal about the paradise of marriage with my husband, Reggie. One critical ingredient of this institution is teamwork. Without team spirit, marriage is bland and blemished. Healthy team spirit is fundamental in seasoning a God-designed marriage.  In the Holy Bible, Romans 12:10 states “Outdo one another in showing honor.” With team spirit, spouses should find numerous ways to bless each other and uplift one another with love and support.

Within the last few weeks as a newly married couple, our team spirit grew firmly. Four days after returning from our Honeymoon, I was choked up by the devastating news: Company lay-off. Now, let me refresh your memory, I can be the Queen of Worry. This crushing rejection fondled some of my nerves- It still does. However, instead of jumping off the deep-end into depression and desperation, Reggie and I fell to our knees and prayed to God that evening. Ever since that shocking day, I knew that I must maintain a steadfast mindset through this storm of losing my job. And my husband is with me every minute. We do everything as a team. We clean our beautiful house together.  We cook appetizing meals together. We do boring laundry together. We devise budget plans together. We are continuously helping each other with our goals. Most importantly, we uplift each other every single day. We even work as a team in listening to each other better. But I would say the best part of our team, we pray together.

AND THE DEVIL HASN’T BEEN SO NICE ABOUT IT. IN FACT, HE HATES THIS. From the beginning of our engagement, my husband and I had an inkling that the devil did not want us to marry and we experienced what I felt like was the devil’s ploy to smash our relationship to smithereens. BUT our story began with God and God is not finished with us! Therefore, our Heavenly Father led us down to the altar.

An author once stated, “When a couple is standing at the altar getting married, the devil has an assignment on that couple.”

Remaining prayerful and watchful, my husband and I come to Christ daily, pouring our hearts to Him daily, keeping our souls in the presence of the Lord. God expects us to come to Him every day because of His Faithfulness. He is so faithful to us; we ought to do the same. And Reggie and I do! We are a winning team and I definitely find ourselves talking more often and candidly about everything! I just absolutely love it!

Becoming shrewdly aware of what is essential in the convent of marriage, I know that teamwork keeps its alive. In order to successfully blend two lives together, a marriage must have that special element of commitment towards the team.  Without teamwork, a marriage can become stale and the communication between a husband and wife becomes polluted with defilement, making them weaklings in tackling arising problems and blinding them to resolutions. Ultimately, teamwork is constructed upon that sweet ol’ Agape love- That type of “I am never going to forsake my God and I will never leave you or forsake you in this marriage’ type of love. Teamwork leads to decisions that create stability of commitment in a marriage, especially in a fresh marriage such as ours.

Teamwork strengthens couples yet it leaves room for each spouse to preserve his or her individuality, guiding them to their dreams. By making joint decisions confidently, marriage can be fun, less stressful and enlightening! Teamwork should ensure that each spouse shares the same vision or morals and heads in the same direction. I am learning that in
good times and bad, we must remember that our spouses are always our partner and never our enemy. In union, there is strength. In union, there is an unbreakable bond. In union, the Devil will fail. In union, the loyalty will prevail.

Most importantly, husbands and wives make the best teams in the world! Reggie and I are a team for life!