Sunday, October 30, 2011

Why I Write...

Why I write?
So the world can witness my life.
I currently am writing my first book.
Quite nervous.
Still debating on when Snow Angels will debut to the public, but I am determined to have the world witness my life, through the words woven together to bring my book alive.
I pray that those who read Snow Angels are inspired. Most of all, I hope that my readers smile.
While writing this book, I have fallen in love with my characters, Aubrey and Charles. They are so important to me. As I write this book, I envision the world witnessing pain. Witnessing blooming love. Witnessing the agony and fear that bestows fragile hearts. What do you do when your life is flipped upside down? What do you say? Who do you go to? Who do you dare to call? Let's admit it. There are times when it feels as if it is the face of no return. Just lost. I, myself, have begged God, pleading him to give me answers; cajoled him with bargains.
But Snow Angels will help explain more.
Stay tuned and Witness.
Tammy J

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty.

Perhaps this is her last breath...

Closing her eyes, her soul sails on the magical voyage of a Heavenly escape.

Letting her arms unfold, she twirls through the tall meadows which cradles her love; the winds carried her airily through waves full of dreams.

Waiting for her, soft and angelic giggles tickle her.

Carefully sprinkling bountiful petals of piety upon her, the beatific spirits quickly vanish.

No trace.

Did they not love her? Was it time?

Maybe she will forget.

But she will never forget once.

She forever hunts for them in her dreams, but never sees.

My love.

Sweet Serendipity.
Where are thou?
With warm tears of pleasure and agony, I chase day and night for you, my love.
I ache for your never ending touches upon my flesh and to look into your sparkly eyes.
I lust after your delicious fruit of nourishment.
Dear, don't leave me. Please.
Your paradise is neatly tucked inside of the Moira of my tightly-woven destiny.
Upon the shatters of the despicable troubles in my life, I am still intoxicated by your seizing aura.
I beg you to come to me. Please do not hide.
Alone my dreams, I follow your whispers down the primrose path to your secret garden.
Motionless, there I wait for you.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Thank You.

Please pray for me.
Im so emotional right now.
Eyes full of tears.
Mind full of praise.
Thank you Jesus!
Earlier today, doctors called my boyfriend to inform him of his current condition of his diagnosis.
"They told me that I am stable. No signs of cancer...," he calmly says to me.
My heart drops.
I almost fell to my knees.
No Cancer. AGAIN.
God is so so so so good. Not only is God so good for helping my boyfriend's brain to heal, but for restoring his life. Mind. Body. And soul.
We ALL don't always wake up with our right minds, but God is ALWAYS at our side and He helps us stand to do better through each day, if we choose to. Know better. Do better. REGARDLESS of what Satan whispers, or how many times our lives darkled against the silhouettes of his tricks and evil plans.....

And my charming boyfriend, Reginald, has yet to let go of God's hands and I know that he never will. And I will never let go of Reggie's hands. Never.
I just don't know what to say....
We shall never know why God is so good to us.
Until then, I will continue to thank Him.
Thank you, Heavenly Father.
Thank you for your blood, Jesus.
Thank you God, King of Glory.

Thank you for listening.
Thank you for healing.
Thank you.

"God is so powerful, folks. Don't play with Him nor doubt Him." ~ Tammy J

Monday, October 17, 2011


"So make a list-right now-of all that you are thankful for."
Our problems are so intoxicating...We feed off their unyielding, dangerously sweet scent. Allowing us to forget how blessed we truly are. While soaking in the bubble bath, I was reading my new favorite book, "When Prayers Aren't Answered." Author John E. Welshons teases with instructions of creating a list of blessings, diving deeply within. Closing my eyes, I slowly wander in the depths of my brain, counting my blessings, one by one.
So here it goes:
I am blessed to be alive.
I am blessed to be conscious.
I am blessed to breathe on my own. Without the help of a machine.
I am blessed to live in a warm house.

I am blessed to conquer depression.
I am blessed to have a degree.
I am blessed to have a job. Forever grateful.
I am blessed to have a mother AND a father who are STILL married.
I am blessed to have a brother who is now in college.
I am blessed to have wonderful, fearless friends.
I am blessed to have a handsome, caring boyfriend. He is fighting cancer. And winning.
I am blessed to be beautiful. I am not perfect, but beautiful.
I am blessed to be born with a gift of writing.
I am blessed to have a relationship with God.

I am blessed to have my heart broken. Constantly. But temporarily. And not permanently.
I am blessed to not be where I used to be, still heading to where I want to be.
I am blessed to be knocked down numerously. Yet, stand right back up. Again and again.
I am blessed to let go. And let God.
I am blessed to witness the anointing ceremonious uniting of lovers and the birth of fresh, blossoming lives within the last 5 months.
I am blessed to have a car. A running car. A car in which I can afford to put gas in to run.
I am blessed to have haters.
I am blessed to have many more supporters.
I am blessed to have met so many wonderful writers and artists throughout this country.
I am blessed to know my passion. And not be ashamed. To me, life is not about how you are living; life is about what you did while living.
I am blessed to be writing my book, Snow Angels.

I am blessed for you reading this right now. :)
I am blessed to finally love myself.
I am blessed to finally accept God fully in my life.
I am blessed to have so many blessings in my life. And I am still counting.

I can't deny it. I am blessed. Very.
And so are you.
I encourage you to create a list. Whether it is written down, or an intimate mental list, think of your blessings. The plentiness of God's goodies will remind you that you are highly favored; He loves us. Most of all, your blessings, just like mine, will remind you that God is in control. No matter what happens.

Be humble.
Be thankful.
Be blessed.

" of the most potent antidotes to frozen emotion is gratitude; just feeling thankful." ~ John E. Welshons