Tuesday, January 26, 2010


Oral sex is the new kiss. Thought you knew?
Lifetime recently aired its television movie entitled “The Pregnancy Pact.” This movie is disgusting and heart wrenching. AND I LOVE IT!
From the opening credits to the end, I cringed with turmoil. Why would 14-year-old girls make a group promise to get pregnant…ON PURPOSE? Jesus take the wheel.
Sitting on my bed, tweeting 90mph on how stupid the girls sounded, I sighed. This movie speaks the naked truth. Across the nation, high school girls are obsessed with this growing popular trend of making babies.
Making a pact to have a child with ugly, wacky boyfriends who don’t give a rat’s behind about you? EPIC FAIL.
Girls have to understand that it is YOU who carry the baby in YOUR belly for 9 months. Girls are the ones who deal with nasty morning death, I mean, sickness.
Guys don’t have to do a damn thing. They have the choice to be responsible with their child or not. No, it doesn’t make it right. But it is what it is.
The movie does highlight a lot of questions that many students and parents and even school administration face upon this issue. No pressure, right?
What would you do if your 14-year-old daughter walks up to you and tells you that she is pregnant?
Throughout the movie, one of the girls’ parents couldn’t stop arguing. Stop attacking each other and CRACK HER HEAD OPEN! But that’s just me.
This movie brings light on how young girls are engaging in serious relationships too early as well.
Parents may not have control over what their daughter do during school. But you sure in hell have control on what she does before or afterwards.
Irritation corrupted my soul throughout the movie on how some school officials didn’t want to promote birth control. The point is KIDS ARE DOING IT. It’s no secret. We are living in a time where 1 out of 6 high school students are pregnant or will get pregnant.
We are living in an era where Congress officials can blatantly dog out the President of the United States and call him a liar! Oh my bad, did I say that?
Overall, we are living in a time where sex is everywhere. Literally. Even in Disney shows. I encourage you to watch a Disney show with your child one evening or Saturday morning and you will be amazed on how much sex is encouraged.
I am not saying lock your kid in a box. That’s not reasonable and just dangerous. But please understand that young ladies are no longer waiting until marriage or until prom night to lose their virginity or engage in sexual activities.
I know folks, it sounds retarded to think of implementing sex education for younger children. But it’s more retarded to think kids aren’t looking and touching.
I mean, unless you want to be granny and gramps at age 31. That’s your prerogative.

Want more? Follow Tammy on Twitter at www.twitter.com/Totally_Tammy

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Column Debut! 01/20/10

Real love is about that F-word. Forgiveness.

But nowadays, the act of forgiving is like eating a pot of mold.

So far, Hollyweird launched bombs that told of celebrity infidelity scandals. But, of course, almost 90 percent of all American marriages are crumbling. So this shouldn’t be a surprise.

However, Shaq’s five-year secret affair blew me out of the water after reading about allegations of him harassing his mistress in fear of her having his baby.

First of all, Shaq is too big to sneak around. Tsk. Tsk. His wife can be the bigger person by forgiving him and moving on.

Like Tiger Woods’ wife.

Wait. Where is Tiger?

So suspending your career means disappearing from the face of the Earth? OK.

There are rumors bouncing back and forth that his wife is going to stay with him. As much as Tiger’s lying, cheating, scheming, dirty, trifling, scandalous, heartbreaking, malicious and just plain nasty behavior appalled me, I believe in unconditional love.

Tiger was dead wrong for what he did but at the end of the day – if we ever find him – he is still a human, a father and husband, and he must fulfill those roles.

Why is it so hard for us to forgive someone? But when we mess up we demand to be forgiven, no matter how outrageous the situation may be.

And he called himself “casablasian.” Straight madness. Let’s forgive him on that, too.

Besides relationships, it seems like we need to work on forgiving people for doing outrageous things. For example, Mariah Carey and her bubbly acceptance speech at the Palm Springs Film Fest.

I love how the songstress keeps it real. The music icon has personality and isn’t afraid to tell the world when she’s messed up. We seriously can’t get mad at her for enjoying a few splashes of champagne. She gives a 30-second buzzed speech but we can watch a 60-minute segment of Weezy F. Baby brag about his hard-knock life while smoking a blunt. Isn’t that stuff illegal? But this makes me a hater, right?

On another note, we must learn how to forgive the government for always finding ways to scare us. Silly rabbit tricks are for kids!.But it seems like grown folks are the main ones becoming the fools. Are you really that scared about swine flu? To me, it’s just hyped-up juice. People are not scared of AIDS so a little virus shouldn’t scare big, bad America.

On a random note, I do not condone shows like For the Love of Ray J, but he is a singer. Right? Whatever. He made a valid point when talking to one of the contestants, Heartbreaker, about her inability to have faith in them being together. “If you don’t believe in us, I don’t believe in you.” Some of his music is nauseating but this is one quote that I will never forget. Well, at least she didn’t smash the homie. Right?

But no, seriously, where is Tiger?

Friday, January 15, 2010

Check Mate!

It made my soul vomit.

Just like the snow is melting away, so is my misery. I am so sick and tired of crying over him. It is terrible on how men can break a girl heart, but at the same time, a lot of guys do not do it on purpose. It just happens. They don't realize that their actions spruces up negative consequences, which in most cases, where the young lady suffers. But believe it or not, I know that guys suffer too. They know what they did. They just never say sorry.

It's kinda like playing Chess. ...And guys' actions scream CHECK MATE... which is usually out of surprise and you are the one stuck and hurt. Left feeling stupid.

How can someone get over their ex-lover? LOVE YOURSELF. Now, you probably thinking, oh no, now that is stupid. In order for someone to get over someone is to love another person again, NO. You must love YOURSELF first. Your heart is broken. Hell, mine was shredded into pieces. It hurt. It burned. It stung. It bled. It stunk. I actually walked around with the feelings of emptiness and brokenness. But guess what. I started to LOVE myself and things started to turn around slowly. But surely!

I was recently hired. I started Grad school. I am getting closer to my friends. MY TRUE FRIENDS. I started to find TAMARA again. Sometimes, when we are in relationships, NOT IN LOVE, (((notice, I wrote in relationships, not in love))) we tend to lose ourselves. But once you find yourself, you are able to love again. If not, the past will just bleed into your future. And that's not pretty.

Take me for example: I am just loving this. I wake up smiling, determined to end the entire day with that same smile, if not bigger. YES, I still cry at night. YES, I still talk about what happens. But guess what, I am human and that is what I do. Esp if I am trying to get over him. I will FOREVER love my ex . Who knows. We may get married. But as of now, I am waiting for a MAN OF SUBSTANCE to come sweep me off my feet. Not immaturity. I can only make so many excuses for such disrespectful behavior. At the end of the day, I am just too precious. And too damn pretty.

Yeah, I said I am precious. Don't you think of yourself as a precious gift from God? If not, Imma need you to go find a corner, sit down and think about your life. And don't get up until you realize that you are special in God's eyes. Things happen for a reason. Trust.

Shout out to my Sorors of the THEE Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, INNNNNNNC! Happy Founders Day! I love my sorority. She has beautiful herstory and it is amazing that I am part of it. Forever. Til the day I die. Honestly, I can't imagine how my life would be if I wasn't part of this Sorority. See, it was meant for me to be apart of this Sisterly Greatness. It's no lie, that Pretty Pink and Gorgeous Green Reign Supreme, starting from Jan. 15, 1908.

But back to the self-loving, don't let anyone check mate ya ass. You can win by re- strategizing the game and loving yourself.

... just saying.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

And You Look Like That Because...

This world is full of funny looking people. But hell, we all are not in control on how we look leaving our mother's womb. HOWEVER, we are in control on how we act towards one another. It makes my tummy turn gushy like dirty snow on how we treat each other. We are retards for that. Fa real. Think about it. Like today. I am sure that many of you were mean to someone for no damn reason. Or some of yall act like you were better than someone. Or even WORSE, you act like you ain't sh*t to anyone. Self-esteem matter folks! We all must stop that crap. And wake up. Life is too short to act like you don't have any damn sense on treating someone with respect. It is what it is.

Let me tell you this. I used to not love myself. I just didn't. Now, I love myself and working on how to COMPLETELY love myelf. I don't act like I am better than anyone but I sure in hell don't let someone think they are better than me. Oh nooooo..... I think NOT! It is all about being humble as well as balancing out your self respect. So, I guess I am talking to those who have love themselves. And with loving yourself, you must appreciate yourself from the outside to the inside. As much as people focus on the outside, it is the inside that matters. No matter how delicious your MAC looks on ladies!!

Everyday I take a look in the mirror and I say what I like about myself. Sounds retarded, but it is I whose confidence shines upon you whenever I walk into your presence, right? Right. It makes me chuckle on how we focus so hard on the negatives of ourselves and not focus on the amazing features that the Lord has blessed us with. But then again, that's just my way of thinking. You don't have to agree and be a lame.

It's not an easy process, if you already don't like who you are. It is a day-to-day process. Trust me, I know. It takes time. It took time to hate ya self, so it will take much more time to love yourself. Why? Because it is so much easier to hate than love.

Love yourself. No matter on what the hell you look like. Just saying.