Monday, July 19, 2010

my first kiss

I can just taste it.

It was just right.

On January 17th, 2010 I received a call that would changed my life. Forever.

"They found a tumor inside his brain and he is having surgery tomorrow morning. They are not sure...

...if its cancer or not."

Was the devil's contumely following me? Or maybe it wasn't.

What would you do if someone told you that your friend would possibly die the next day?

Well, that actually happened to me last summer. And he did die.
But this time, it was different.

I couldn't hesitate. I was tired as hell. Just got off work, but my feet didn't seem to mind to simmer through the pain.

I grab my car keys, bump my way into the cold and inside my car. And then I paused.
"What the hell am I doing?"

My shaky engine mysteriously starts up and I find myself driving 87 mph down I-96 to Henry Ford hospital downtown. It was only 8:07p.m.

Like a lost child, I walk wide-eyed through the hospital's twisted halls and let the angels guide me to the ICU. Oh shit. This is where my auntie died a few months ago.


I swallow hard. Heart squeezing pounds of blood at one time. It hurts. I feel woozy.

I pull the curtains open and there he lay. Peaceful. Brave. Hiding his fears.

It was Reggie. My then friend. My then new friend. My then new friend who I adored so much. But I never told him.

We nervously talk a bit. Tears fighting to come out.

Minutes turn into hours. Soon, it was time for me to leave. But I didn't want to. Yet, I needed to leave.

Before walking out, I kiss his forehead and cheek ever so softly. I feel his heartbeat. It's calm.

I look down and got lost inside his butter brown eyes. Although its only seconds, I feel frozen. The love chains finally locked me in.

Seconds later, our lips touch. Just one kiss. Just one gentle kiss. Just one slow kiss. Just one amazing kiss.

Wasn't sure if that would be my last kiss. Surgery is in 8 hours. It was a 50% chance he would not come out the same. Or...

But it was surely my first true kiss with a young man who unashamedly declares his love to me and promises to do it. Forever.

I never felt like this...

Oh Je t' aime...

Until next time...

Quote of the Day: "Your heart has wisdom that your mind cannot comprehend."

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