Monday, November 29, 2010

Dear Tammy,

Dear Tammy,

You will get shot in the heart. But will recover.
Right now, you are 16 and madly in love with that silly football player, Kyle Hatcher. He is a sweetheart. He is so goofy and always make you smile. High School Sweethearts. Classic.

You are a junior at Ferndale. Must be fun. Dealing with that confusing algebra stuff. And rocky friendships. Don't worry. It will end one day.

Remember that upsetting 4-page note Kyle wrote to you that one night? He explained how he feels as though he will not be able to love you forever. Well, his tears were right.
5 years later, Kyle passes away. A month after you graduate from Bowling Green State University.

Three weeks prior to his death, he calls you during your lunch break at your magazine internship, just to check on you, your birthday and graduation. And he jokingly tries to make a movie date. As always. But you gently decline. As always. You two are just friends at this point. He has a new girlfriend. You have a new boyfriend.

Three weeks later, you get that Facebook message from Kory.
"Did you hear about Kyle?"
Kyle is in the hospital. You think all this will pass. You think you two will laugh about this during the next week. But you two don't.
"Yes, Kory I am almost to the hospital."
"Um, Tammy, ... Kyle died. Five minutes ago."
You pull over. And scream. For an Hour... God did not want you to see his transition. But was it fair? You will never know.
Your blood turns hot. And cold. Your mind churns with disbelief. A piece of your precious heart shrivels and dies.

Your sorrow turns into anger. You are mad at the doctors. How could they be so dumb? You are mad at God. How could He let this happen? More importantly, you are mad at Kyle. How could he just leave you? You asked him 3 weeks ago, was he ok. He was coughing a lot.

"Oh come on Tams, yes I am fine."
Turns out, Kyle had a rare lung disease. TAMMY, HE COULD NOT BREATHE.

At the body viewing, Kory holds you as you stumble when walking up to casket. But you are stronger than you think, Tammy. You straighten yourself and softly whisper a prayer. You look at his lifeless body as he sleeps sweetly in his brass coffin. You touch his icy cold hands and tell him you will love him forever.

As Kory pulls you away, you wipe your face. Kyle would never want you to cry over him. Ever. But it hurts so damn much.
A year later from his death, does still hurt? Hell. Yes. Daily, you ask God, why? But understand, Kyle was an angel. It was time for him to go Home. Heaven. But he met his first love. You.
...I will always remember you Kyle. Forever.
Kyle always wanted me to be happy. From the day he laid his eyes on me. And I am. Very happy.